Molly's Cold and Broken Hallelujah
by LuckyNumbers
Summary: Molly reflects on the lives of her brothers at their funeral. Songfic


**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the song. I have been interested in Fabian and Gideon Prewett for some time now.**

_I heard there was a secret chord  
that David played and it pleased the lord  
but you don't really care for music, do you?_

Molly sat in the front row at her brothers' funeral. A low solemn melody played in the background. Molly thought that this was a completely inappropriate tune. The twins would never have stood for something that sad to be played in their memory. They liked more upbeat songs. They said that they could be more themselves through that music, though Molly questioned her younger brothers' tastes. She didn't really like their music that much.

She smiled inwardly at the memory of her brothers. She couldn't help that she was remembered something so insignificant, but the smile was quickly washed away by the steady flow of tears streaming down her face.

_Well it goes like this the fourth, the fifth  
the minor fall and the major lift  
the baffled king composing hallelujah_

hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah

The man conducting the funeral walked up to the podium and began to talk, but Molly didn't listen. This man knew nothing of her brothers.

Her recent thoughts made her astounded when he didn't even mention their love for music.

This man, it seemed, knew the bare minimum about the twins and thought that he was still giving them a proper speech. This made her cry even more.

_Well your faith was strong but you needed proof  
you saw her bathing on the roof  
her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you_

Molly looked at the ground. She was ashamed at herself for not stopping them when, in retrospect, she knew that she could have.

Fresh out of their seventh year of Hogwarts, her brothers decided that they wanted to join the Order of the Phoenix.

Molly was against this, of course. She was married and had a family. She tried to persuade her brothers to do the same.

But no, settling down didn't seem right to them, they had said. They said that the only girls worth pursuing worth pursuing were justice and adventures. They were determined to see the action that they knew the Order was seeing.

_She tied you to her kitchen chair  
she broke your throne and she cut your hair  
and from your lips she drew the hallelujah_

hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah

But Molly knew what they really wanted. They wanted to be heroes. She wanted to able to go back and time and dissuade them. Heroes didn't usually come out alive.

That reality was clearer right before their deaths. She was still trying to tell them to get out of the Order and live healthy lives. She pointed out to them that what happened to heroes was what happened to the murdered McKinnons, or what happened to Benjy Fenwick, who was found in pieces.

She told them that heroes never made it out of wars alive.

The moment they didn't listen, she knew she was right.

_Baby I've been here before  
I've seen this room and I've walked this floor  
I used to live alone before I knew you_

All at once, Molly felt sad and childish.

When she was young, and her brothers were born, she was jealous of them.

When she was an only child, she had gotten all of the attention, and now she was going to have to share it with two other people.

Of course, as most siblings do, she had easily learned to love the two boys, though they were annoying whenever they pranked her.

Still, they were her brothers, and she wanted them back.

The childish part of her wanted to stand up in the middle of the funeral and shout at them for making her an only child again.

_I've seen your flag on the marble arch  
but love is not a victory march  
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah_

hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah

She now couldn't see how either of the twins had ever expected to come home victorious.

They didn't have to go and fight, but they said that they did. They said that it was their duty to protect the ones that they loved.

She believed that they were fools. They weren't the only ones who could fight.

They never listened to her.

_Well there was a time when you let me know  
what's really going on below  
but now you never show that to me do you?_

Then, after many arguments about the Order and what was right, Molly felt a rift growing between her and her brothers.

They used to trust her with everything. She was the older sister who always helped them out whether it was their charms homework or they had some girl problems. They always went to her.

But for the past year, it wasn't like that. Molly hadn't even seen them the week before they died. In that way, she felt that it was partially her fault.

She had invited them over for dinner that night, but they said that they were busy.

They never used to be too busy to see her.

_But remember when I moved in you  
and the holy dove was moving too  
and every breath we drew was hallelujah_

_hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah_

They used to always listen to her. What had changed?

Why did they suddenly become so distant?

Then they were suddenly ripped out of her world, and all she could do was blame herself. She knew that turning back time wouldn't bring them back, but she wished that it could. She really wished that it could.

_Well, maybe there's a god above  
but all I've ever learned from love  
was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you_

She looked to her right and saw Arthur, her husband.

On her left were Bill, Charlie, Percy, Fred and George. In her arms slept her infant son, Ron, and if you looked closely, you could see her stomach protruding slightly.

Her eyes, filled with tears, lingered on Fred and George. They were twins, just like her brothers. She wished that they wouldn't be like their brothers at all.

_It's not a cry that you hear at night  
it's not somebody who's seen the light  
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah_

hallelujah...

Her world had been rebuilt slowly after the funeral. Surely, she thought, this would never have to happen again.

But her wish had not been granted.

The Order was called back not even twenty years later, and she aghast when she saw that both Fred and George wanted to join. It was Gideon and Fabian all over again. She wasn't allowed to stop them because they were seventeen, but she made sure that they did as little as possible. She had more authority over them than her brothers.

Even Harry Potter, a boy she regarded as her own son, wanted to join. He wasn't even seventeen yet, but she could exercise no control over him because she wasn't really his mother, but she thought that his godfather would oppose. She was wrong.

Over the next two years, the war had begun again, and she couldn't bare it.

The end was the worst.

George had nearly died that fall, losing an ear to Severus Snape. He tried to joke about it, but Molly was horrified.

But, that summer, the worst happened.

During the battle of Hogwarts, her world crashed around her, knowing that it would never be rebuilt again.

Her Fred, her precious Fred, had been killed.

He looked like he had simply been sleeping when she saw him, and even then, she saw the ghost of her brothers on his face.


End file.
